I had to learn how to let go of all my past relationships and past hurts. I also had to forgive each man that had hurt me beginning with my ex-husband. My grandmother had always shared with me the importance of forgiveness. I was taught that forgiveness will set you free and grant you peace. I began to pray more and read my Bible more.
God was revealing Himself to me and showing me things about myself that I needed to work on. I prayed for my ex-husband, that God would deliver him from drugs. After all, he was a very good man with a kind heart before he got involved with drugs. He loved our daughter very much and I was now able to see that it was the drugs, and not him. However, he had to want to be delivered from drugs for himself. I prayed that God would keep him from all hurt, harm, sin and danger for our daughter's sake as well as his own. I prayed that he would be a part of our daughter's life again. And I prayed for a clean heart toward him. I prayed for the young woman that he had the affair with while we were married, and the scripture that I meditated on then and still do now is:
"Create in me a clean heart, O God
and renew a right spirit within me."